If you don’t know who Whiteyy18 is, I don’t know what to say, except to tell ya what you’re missin’.
William White, Whiteyy18’s real name, is a 21-year-old Canadian who has taken over the world — the online, TikTok world at least — by lipsyncing 80s tunes while rolling his eyes back into his head or running his fingers through his fabulous hair. Makes no sense, right?
Well, this young fella has already flustered mothers swooning, grandmas hot-flashing while fanning themselves and men can’t seem to take their eyes off him either. Kids too.
On the day I discovered the young phenom, I’d be lying if I said I was productive. When my 12-year-old daughter came home from school, I had her watch one of the videos and her reaction was the same as mine; flush, click follow, and spread the Whiteyy word. Over one million people agree that Whiteyy18 has ‘it,’ whatever ‘it’ happens to be.
ANIMALS LOVE ME
That ‘got it goin’ on’ thing has always amazed me. Growing up, I had a way – particularly with animals.
One horse of my grandfather’s hated everyone but treasured me, showing her devotion by gently carrying me around the garden by my coat hood, laying me down while nibbling grass, then she’d pick me up to move me before grazing again.
Another time around four, when dad wasn’t looking, I climbed inside a metal cage with a large gas station’s guard dog. When I was discovered, the dog and I were cuddled and I had to be urged to get out the same way I went in because no one dared enter this fellow’s enclosure. While having a horse and a dog think you’re the cat’s arse might not be huge to some, I felt special.
I took my four-year-old nephew with me to do a story on Newfoundland ponies recently. Annie and Brandy gathered around the second we arrived.
As Kaleb rode one, the other stayed so close the horses touched as they walked. We popped Kaleb from horse to horse as it seemed they both wanted a turn. That these ponies were friendly wasn’t a surprise, I mean, after all, animals love me, right?
Well, when Kaleb left to head home, I was still in the garden, and suddenly, even with a cookie in hand, the horses were no longer interested at t’all in me.
FLOWN THE COOP
It got me thinking. Over the last ten years, a few random dogs have tried to eat me as I’ve passed by and, except for a cat I run into on a walking trail that I’m sure is the reincarnation of my brother, cats can’t stand me either. If I ever had ‘it’ goin’ on, my goin’ on’s long flown the coop now.
So, to Whiteyy18, to my sweet young nephew, and to others like them; embrace the love, b’ys, and relish the warm glow of attraction, ‘cause one day you too could be standing in an open field being ignored by two ponies as the only cookie for miles pathetically crumbles in your ageing hand, and the only attention you get is from the black flies.